Dbaa

A story of divorce…

A very touching story I found in my email box, would just like to share:

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in
her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I  want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn’t talk to each other.
She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my
heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very
fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want
anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as
normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall
how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room,
then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly;
don’t tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully
for a long time. I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered
what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin,
that was the reason why I could carry her more easily

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential
part of his life.
My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind
at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce
anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the
details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding
day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do
us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,
blah..blah.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those
little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage !

Chinese humor you can relate to

ARE YOU LAN-NANG?

1. Your standards for evaluation are limited to "not bad" (bwe-phai) and
good enough" (ham-ham)

2. You count every single centavo that comes in and out of your wallet

3. You voted Fred Lim for president

4. You make today’s rice tomorrow’s fried rice

5. Today’s leftovers are tastefully mixed in tomorrow’s bi-hun or ma-mi

6.The only thing you can read in a Chinese daily is the daily’s name
(so sue me!)

7. Your pinoy friends ask for tikoy from you, and they’re more excited
eating it than you are (now they ask for different flavors of tikoy pa!)

8. You aren’t allowed to wear black, although you want to - to look
thinner

9. Your family car’s plate number begins with 8

10. When you speak to an elder and you forget the chinese term for a
particular item, and say "ahhh hio-nge hio-nge hio-nge basta hio-nge
la!" (nyahahaha)

11. You affix "-la", "-lo" to your Pinoy/Taglish sentences

12. You affix "ba", "naman" or "pa" to your Chinese sentences

13. Your food vocabulary consists of …kiam-pong, cha-pong, am-beh,
mi-sua, cha-sio, ma-ki-mi, hee-chee, machang

14. Your parents think that a boyfriend-girlfrien d relationship is the
same as getting married

15. You Speak chinese at home, speak Filipino with friends, and write
letters in English!

16. Your friends greet your parents "a-pe or am-a, good evening!"

17. You love Lao Fu Zi even if you could never figure out what they were
talking about

18. You know the beneficial effects of chrysanthemum tea and black duck
soup

19. You say "Wa-kah-nga !" or "In-yah-kwee- yah!"

20. You’ve eaten food after it has been offered to your dead ancestors

21. You pronounce "C" or "K" sounds like "KH" like "khas" instead of
cash, "khomputer" for computer (oy hinde ha)

22. You have a cough, and your mom insists that you drink ‘ki-pe-lo’and
for stomack ache,’tsing- lo-ing’ (effective naman kasi)

23. When seated around a chinese lauriat, you insist back and forth that
other people take the first serving (basta kung kanino natapat, siya
mauna!)

24. You mix the hard-boiled egg cooked in adobo (lo-neng) with your rice

25. Tinutusok mo nalang iyong fish/meat/squid ball with your chopsticks!

26. Kung hindi mo na matusok ang fish/meat/squid ball with ur chopstick,
kinakamay mo nalang.

27. You had culture shock in college.

28. Your pinoy friends ask for the chinese translation of ‘i love you"
and certain curse words

29. You go to Hap Chan for a mid-night snack

30. The only first aid kit you bring with you is white flower

31. You are a tsinoy, when in math class, you mumble the Chinese
multiplication table when mutiplying numbers.

Ex. Di it Di (2×1=2) ; Di Di Si (2×2=4)

32. If you are male, you have a name that ends with "-son", i.e.
jefferson,emerson, wilson, harrison, stevenson, michaelson, kingson

33. You understand why "kai-shao" is more complicated than a "blind
date"

34. The first reaction from new pinoy friends is "mayayaman ang mga
intsik!"

35. At least one member of ur family has already gone to Chientan

36. You greet a friend on the phone by asking if he’s eaten (dee chia
beh?) or what he is doing (leh tshong shia?)

37. You say: a. ‘kain ng gamot’ instead of ‘inom ng gamot’ (chia iyo
kasi eh) b. ‘hugas ng picture’ instead of ‘pa-develop ng picture’ (swesiong
kasi)

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.

The road to success is not straight.

There is a curve called Failure,

a loop called Confusion,

speed bumps called Friends,

red lights called Enemies,

caution lights called Family.

You will have flats called Jobs.

But, if you have a spare called Determination,

an engine called Perseverance,

insurance called Faith,

a driver called Jesus,

you will make it to a place called Success.

– Author Unknown
(excerp from emails)

Starbucks Spirituality by Brett Lawrence

Excerpt from ChristianityToday.com

Daniel Hill holds a steady part-time job
working one or two shifts a week at Starbucks. It’s hardly a
career-track position, and it’s not that he needs the extra cash or
battles a secret caffeine addiction.

It’s the people.

Purple hair, belly-button rings, tattoos, black-painted fingernails—those people.

For Hill, whose day job is ministering on staff with
Willow Creek Community Church’s Axis outreach, Starbucks provides a
context to build meaningful relationships with postmodern, Gen-Next
twentysomethings who are far from God.

"Nothing has been more transforming for me than working at Starbucks," says Hill, "These people matter to me."

But the moonlighting gig isn’t a free pass to easy
evangelism. His coffee colleagues are like a good cup of triple
espresso—plenty of steam, a little bitter, and enough kick to knock you
on your backside if you aren’t careful.

Exhibit A: "The first day Debbie worked at
Starbucks, one of the shift supervisors points at me and asks her, ‘Did
you hear what his real job is?’ After she hears I work at a church,
Debbie freaks out. She says, ‘Three years ago my 16-year-old daughter
was raped and murdered. Tell me, what kind of God would let that
happen? I believe in God. I just have a real problem with him.’"

To read more click here.

Mirror mirror on the wall

Mirror mirror on the wall

BUSINESS MATTERS (Beyond the bottom line)

By Francis J. Kong

One businessman complained and said:

"The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner."

She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara,

toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this

look natural?"

Men find it hard to understand women and that’s the beauty behind

it, the mystery of discovery.

Another one said, "Today is the fifth anniversary of my wife’s

39th birthday."

Now you tell me whether you can understand that or not.

Have you ever watched Fashion TV?

When I was still with the garments industry my wife and I watched a

great deal of them and I realized that we were watching many of the

world’s most beautiful women. The clothes may not be great all the

time but when these women wear it and walk with it, the beauty comes

out. The next thing I discovered is that many fresh and young faces

would walk the ramp. And it’s only a matter of time before the once

hot faces disappear from the scene only to be replaced by the younger

ones.

NO amount of cosmetics could ever fight off a woman’s terror and

trepidation: aging. Age catches up with everyone and there’s no

exception to the rule.

One woman I know who is in her mid-forties prohibits her children to

call her mom. She commanded that all of her grown up kids call her

Auntie and of course it breaks the children’s hearts. I wonder

how long she could stay in the stage of denial. Yes. Some people live in

denial and somebody says it correctly that denial is not a river in

Egypt.

Vanity? A refusal to face one’s real age?

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest of them all?

What an unforgettable scene in the immortal Disney Classic Snow White.

Are women vain?

Some are of course and then some are not.

Today there are many men who are vain too. Look at the rise of cosmetic

products for men.

The cosmetics industry is a major money making industry this is itself

would reveal the fact that men and women do pay a lot of attention to

how they look.

It is important to look good especially when you are in the work place.

In my seminars I always warn my audience to be wary of speakers who say

otherwise. When you hear speakers tell you that "beauty is not

important I can assure you that the speaker is ugly."

Of course beauty is important and we have to make ourselves presentable.

The way we look represent the company we are working for.

But looking good is not as important as being good in person and

character.

I got me an article that deals with this issue.

The title is How Females Look in the Mirror.

Age 8: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty.

Age 15: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping

Beauty/Cheerleader or sees fat/Ugly. (Mom I can’t go to school

looking like this!)

Age 20: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too/short/too

tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she’s going

anyway.

Age 30: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too

tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she doesn’t have time

to fix it, so she goes anyway.

Age 40: Looks at herself and sees "too fat/ too thin, too short/to

tall too straight/too curly"- but says: "At least I’m

clean" and goes anyway.

Age 50: Looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she

wants to.

Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who

can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and

conquers the world.

Age 70: Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out

and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes

out to have fun with the world.

That’s the way to live life.

But why wait until 80 to develop this great attitude?

Beauty is in the character not on the skin.

A wise guy says: Beauty always comes from within ”within jars, tubes,

and compacts. That’s not what I mean.

A French proverb says: Beauty without virtue is a flower without

perfume.

True beauty is that which reflects the beauty of Her Maker.

A godly life and a great positive disposition.

Who can resist such charm?

You don’t need those low waist-hip hugging-panty revealing jeans to

be beautiful.

Show the love of Christ and exhibit His character by being a woman of

virtue and I can assure you you’re beautiful anytime all the time.

So relax. Be happy and be beautiful.

-excerpt from CCOWE emails

THE PARABLE OF THE STONES by Max Lucado

A wife of noble character who
can find? She is worth far more than
   rubies. — Proverbs 3 1:10 (NW) –

   I MUST WARN you, reader; before you begin. These words are ancient
   jewels mined from the quarry of my life. Read them only if you dare
   treasure them. For it would be better to never know, than to know and
   not obey.

   The hand which writes them is now old, wrinkled from the sun and labor.
   But the mind which guides them is wise.
   wise from years
   wise from failures
   wise from heartache.
   I am Asmara, merchant of fine stones.

   I am a seller of stones. I travel from city to city. I buy jewels from
   the diggers in one land and sell them to the buyers in another I have
   weathered nights on stormy waters. I have walked days through desert
   heat. I have dined with kings. I
have drunk with paupers. My hands have
   held the finest rubies and stroked the deepest furs. But I would trade
   it all for the one jewel I never knew.

It was not for lack of opportunity that I never held it. There was a
   chance in Madrid when I was young. No, it was not for lack of
   opportunity. It was for lack of wisdom. The jewel was in my hand, but I
   exchanged it for an imitation. And now I fear my days will end without
   my ever knowing the beauty of the precious stone.

   I have never known true love.

   I have known embraces. I have seen beauty. But I have never known love.

   If only I’d learned to recognize love as I have learned to recognize
   stones.

   My father taught me about stones. He was a jewel cutter. He would seat
   me at a table before a dozen
emeralds. "One is true," he would tell me.
   "The others are false. Find the true jewel."

   I would ponder"studying one after the other. Finally I would choose. I
   was always wrong.

   "The secret, "he would say," is not on the surface of the stone; it is
   inside the stone. A true jewel has a glow. Deep within the gem there is
   a flame. The surface can always be polished to shine, but with time the
   sparkle fades. However, the stone that shines from within will never
   fade."

   With the years, my eyes learned to spot true stones. I am never fooled.
   The stones I purchase are authentic. The gems I sell are true. I have
   learned to see the light within.

   If only I had learned the same about love.

   But Ive been foolish, dear reader, and Ive been
fooled.

   Ive spent my life in places I shouldn’t have been, looking for
   someone
   with sparkling eyes, beautiful hair, a dazzling smile, and fancy
   clothes. Ive searched for a woman with outer beauty, but no true
   value. And now I am left with emptiness.

   Once I almost found her. Many years ago in Madrid, I met the daughter
   of a farmer. Her ways were simple. Her love was pure. Her eyes were
   honest. But her looks were plain. She would have loved me. She would
   have held me through every season. Within her was a glow of devotion
   the like of which Ive never seen since.

   But I continued looking for someone whose beauty would outshine the
   rest.

   How many times since have I longed for that farm girls kind heart,
   her
   sweet smile, her
faithfulness? If only Id known that true beauty is
   found inside, not outside. If only Id known, how many tears would I
   have saved?

   Id trade in a moment a thousand rare gems for the true heart of one
   who would have loved me.

   Dear reader, heed my warning. Look closely at the stones before you
   open your purse. True love glows from within and grows stronger with
   the passage of time.

   Heed my caution. Look for the purest gem. Look deep within the heart to
   find the greatest beauty of all. And when you find that gem, hold onto
   her and never let her go.

   For in her you have been granted a treasure worth far more than rubies.

   Seek beauty and miss love.
   But seek love and find both…..:-

"Love is a commitment of the heart
that will stand the test
of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantial
allure, hormonal infatuation, and even the wounds of your lover.
Anything less is not true love."

                              

4 Wives

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated
her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to
neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him
for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind,
considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he
could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times

The King’s 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great
contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not
love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of
her!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his
luxurious life and wondered, I now have four wives with me, but when I die,
I’ll be all alone."

Thus, he asked the 4th wife , "I loved you the most, endowed you with the
finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will!
You follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word.

Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I loved you all my life. Now that I’m
dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" 

"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I’m going to
remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you’ve
always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me
company?"

"I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!", replied the 2nd wife. "At the
very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him
like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I’ll go with you. I’ll follow you no matter where
you go."

The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she
suffered from malnutrition and neglect.  Greatly grieved, the King said, "I
should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in
making it look good, it will leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all
go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been
there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power
and pleasures of the world.  However, our Soul is the only thing that will
follow us where ver we go.

Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that
will follow us to the throne

of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day:

Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect
position to pray.

Interesting Conversation

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class
on the problem science has with God, the Almighty.

He asks one of his new Christian students to stand
and…..

Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student : Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student : Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed
to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help
others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God
good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again,
young fella.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to
identify and

observe the world around you. Tell me, son…Have you
ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No , sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God,
smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory
perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable
protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do
you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student : No sir. There isn’t.

The lecture theater becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more
heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat
or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We
can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but
we can’t go any further after that. There is no such
thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe
the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is
energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat,sir, just the
absence of it.

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there
such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the
absence of something. You can have low light, normal
light, bright light, flashing light….But if you have
no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called
darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it
were you would be able to make darkness darker,
wouldn’t you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise
is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of
duality. You argue there is life and then there is
death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the
concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It
uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen,
much less fully understood either one. To view death
as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death
is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students
that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary
process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your
own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning
to realize where the argument is going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process
of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this
process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching
your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever
seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the
Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt
it?…..No one appears to have done so. So, according
to the established rules of empirical, stable,
demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then
trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the
student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir.. The link between man & god
is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving &
alive..

Eats!

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, Dunkin and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "And as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds.  And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil’s Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.  And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"  And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

-excerpt from email

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA!

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed
‘control’ and ‘enter’ And disappeared from view.
It devoured her
completely, the thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a
virus Or been eaten by a worm. ; I’ve searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind; I’ve even used the Internet, But nothing did I
find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine.
The reply
from him was negative, Not a thing was found ‘online.’
So, if inside
your ‘Inbox,’ My Grandma you should see, Please ‘Copy,”Scan’ and
‘Paste’ her And send her back to me.

This is a tribute to all the
Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer….
…. They are the greatest!!!
We do not stop playing because we grow
old; We grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old

-excerpt from "Angelscots Mailing List"